Why dogs are better than women

1. the later you are, the more excited your dog is to see you.
2. dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs
3. dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name
4. dogs are excited by rough play
5. dogs don't mind if you give their offspring away
6. dogs understand that farts are funny
7. dogs love red meat
8. dogs can appreciate excessive body hair
9. dogs don't shop
10. if a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it
11. dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor
12. a dog's disposition stays the same all month long
13. dogs never need to examine the relationship
14. a dog's parents never visit
15. dogs love long car trips
16. dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions
17. dogs understand that all animals smaller than dogs are made to be hunted
18. dogs like beer
19. dogs don't hate their bodies
20. no dog ever bought a Kenny G or Hootie & The Blowfish album
21. no dog ever put on 100 pounds after reaching adulthood
22. dogs never criticize
23. dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across
24. dogs never expect gifts
25. it's legal to keep your dog chained up at your house
26. dogs don't worry about germs
27. dogs don't want to know about every other dog that you ever had
28. dogs like to do their snooping outside as opposed to in your wallet, desk, and the back of your sock drawer
29. dogs don't let a magazine article guide their lives
30. dogs would rather have a hamburger dinner than a lobster one
31. you never have to wait for your dog. They are ready to go 24 hours a day
32. dogs have no use for flowers, cards or jewelry
33. dogs don't borrow your shirts
34. dogs enjoy heavy petting in public
35. dogs find you amusing when you're drunk
36. dogs can't talk
37. dogs aren't catty
38. dogs don't mind at all if you leave the toilet seat up
39. dogs seldom outlive you
40. dogs don't cry
41. dogs love it when your friends come over
42. dogs don't care if you use their shampoo
43. dogs think you sing great
44. a dog's time in the bathroom is confined to a quick drink
45. dogs don't expect you to call if you are running late
46. anyone one can get a good-looking dog
47. when a dog gets old and snaps at you incessantly, you can shoot it
48. dogs don't make you watch Grease over and over again
49. dogs don't have lunch with previous owners
50. dogs never want foot rubs
    

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