Assistence call

Police killing a dog?!

Crazy dog

Dog attacks own leg! Crazy enough

Skateboarding dog

Can you believe it!? This is soo cool
Skateboarding dog! See the video

Dog owner look a likes

More pictures!

How many dogs does it take to ...

These are the answers from dogs when asked "How many dogs does it take to put in a light bulb?"

Golden Retriever
The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned-out light bulb?

Border Collie
Just one. And I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.

Dachshund
I can't reach the stupid lamp!

Toy Poodle
I'll just blow in the Border collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.

Rottweiler
Go Ahead! Make me!

Shi-tzu
Puh-leeze, dah-ling. Let the servants ...

Lab
Oh, me, me!!! Pleeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Can I?

Malamute
Let the Border collie do it. You can feed me while he's bussy.

Cocker Spaniel
Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.

Doberman Pinscher
While it's dark, I'm going to sleep on the couch.

Mastiff
Mastiffs are NOT afraid of the dark.

Hound Dog
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Chihuahua
Yo quiero Taco Bulb.

Irish Wolfhound
Can somebody else do it? I've got a hangover.

Pointer
I see it, there it is, right there ...

Greyhound
It isn't moving. Who cares?

Australian Shepherd
Put all the light bulbs in a little circle ...

Old English Sheep Dog
Light bulb? Light bulb? That thing I just ate was a light bulb?

Read more!

How to photograph a puppy

1. Remove film from box and load camera.


2. Remove film box from puppy's mouth and throw in trash.
   


3. Remove puppy from trash and brush coffee grounds from muzzle.
   


4. Choose a suitable background for photo.


5. Mount camera on tripod and focus.


6. Find puppy and take dirty sock from mouth.


7. Place puppy in pre-focused spot and return to camera.


8. Forget about spot and crawl after puppy on knees.


9. Focus with one hand and fend off puppy with other hand.


10. Get tissue and clean nose print from lens.


11. Put cat outside and put peroxide on the scratch on puppy's nose.


12. Put magazines back on coffee table.


13. Try to get puppy's attention by squeaking toy over your head.


14. Replace your glasses and check camera for damage.


15. Jump up in time to grab puppy by scruff of neck and say, "No, outside! No, outside!"


16. Clean up mess.


17. Sit back in chair with lemonade and resolve to teach puppy "sit" and "stay" the first thing in the morning.
    

Funny crossbreeds

Pointer
+
Setter
=
Poinsetter, a traditional Christmas pet

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Kerry Blue Terrier
+
Skye Terrier
=
Blue Skye, a dog for visionaries

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Great Pyrenees
+
Dachshund
=
Pyradachs, a puzzling breed

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Pekingnese
+
Lhasa Apso
=
Peekasso, an abstract dog

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Irish Water Spaniel
+
English Springer Spaniel
=
Irish Springer, a dog fresh and clean as a whistle

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Labrador Retriever
+
Curly Coated Retriever
=
Lab Coat Retriever, the choice of research scientists

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Newfoundland
+
Basset Hound
=
Newfound Asset Hound, a dog for financial advisors

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Terrier
+
Bulldog
=
Terribull, a dog prone to awful mistakes

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Bloodhound
+
Labrador
=
Blabador, a dog that barks incessantly

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Malamute
+
Pointer
=
Moot Point, owned by....oh, well, it doesn't matter anyway

*******************************************************

Collie
+
Malamute
=
Commute, a dog that travels to work

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Deerhound
+
Terrier
=
Derriere, a dog that's true to the end

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Cocker Spaniel
+
Rottweiller
=
Cockrot, the perfect puppy for that philandering ex-husband

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Bull Terrier
+
Shitzu
=
Bullshitz, a gregarious but unreliable breed

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Sheepdog
+
Rose
=
Collie-flower

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Dog
+
Concorde
=
Jet setter

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Dog
+
Giraffe
=
Animal that barks at low flying aircraft

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Dog
+
Cheetah
=
Dog that chases cars - and catches them

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Dog
+
Lion
=
Terrified postman

*******************************************************

Rottweiller
+
Hyena
=
I don't know but I'll join in if it laughs

*******************************************************

Dog
+
Blind mole
=
Dog that keeps barking up the wrong tree

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2 young dogs
+
Pair of headphones
=
Hush puppies

*******************************************************

Cocker spaniel
+
Poodle
+
Rooster
=
Cockerpoodledoo

*******************************************************

Gun dog
+
Telephone
=
Golden receiver

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Australian dog
+
Beatle
=
Dingo Starr

*******************************************************

Sheepdog
+
Jelly
=
Collie wobbles

*******************************************************

Dog
+
Frog
=
Dog that can lick you from the other side of the road

*******************************************************

Dog
+
Skunk
=
Rid of the dog

*******************************************************

Rottweiller
+
Computer
=
Computer with a lot of bites

*******************************************************

Dog
+
Kangaroo
=
Dog that has somewhere to put its own lead

*******************************************************

Dog
+
Sheep
=
Sheep that can round itself up

*******************************************************

Read more!

Funny dog quotes

When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem.
Edward Abbey

Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear.
Dave Barry

Dogs need to sniff the ground; it's how they keep abreast of current events. The ground is a giant dog newspaper, containing all kinds of late-breaking dog news items, which, if they are especially urgent, are often continued in the next yard.
Dave Barry

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.
Robert Benchley

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.
Josh Billings

In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him.
Dereke Bruce

Of all the things I miss from veterinary practice, puppy breath is one of the most fond memories!
Dr. Tom Cat

You enter into a certain amount of madness when you marry a person with pets.
Nora Ephron

We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare and love we can spare. And in return, dogs give us their all. It's the best deal man has ever made.
M. Facklam

Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people, who are incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate.
Sigmund Freud

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. Robert A. Heinlein

Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot about puppies.
Gene Hill

To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs.
Aldous Huxley

Man is a dog's idea of what God should be.
Holbrook Jackson

Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog.
Franklin P. Jones

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.
Ann Landers

No animal should ever jump up on the dining room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.
Fran Lebowitz

Outside of a dog, a book is probably man's best friend; inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
Groucho Marx

No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does.
Christopher Morley

I wonder what goes through his mind when he sees us peeing in his water bowl.
Penny Ward Moser

Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.
Sue Murphy

If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.
Will Rogers

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
Andrew A. Rooney

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
Rita Rudner

I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves.
August Strindberg

If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons.
James Thurber

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
Mark Twain

Ever consider what they must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul - chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!
Anne Tyler

My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can. That's almost $21.00 in dog money.
Joe Weinstein

There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.
Ben Williams

Cat's motto No matter what you've done wrong, always try to make it look like the dog did it.
Unknown

He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.
Unknown

If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise.
Unknown

In dog years, I'm dead.
Unknown

Money will buy you a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail.
Unknown

Some days you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant.
Unknown

Things that upset a terrier may pass virtually unnoticed by a Great Dane.
Unknown

The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue.
Unknown

Read more!

A dog's dictionary

Leash
A strap that attaches to your collar, enabling you to lead your owner where you want him or her to go. Make sure that you are waiting patiently with leash in mouth when your owner comes home from work. This immediatly makes your owner feel guilty and the walk is lengthened by a good 10 minutes.

Dog Bed
Any soft, clean surface, such as a white bedspread, newly upholstered couch or the dry cleaning that was just picked up.

Drool
What you do when your owners have food and you don't.To do this properly, sit as close as you can, look sad and let the drool fall to the floor or better yet on their laps.

Sniff
A social custom to use when you greet other dogs or those people that sometimes smell like dogs.

Garbage Can
A container your neighbors put out weekly to test your ingenuity.Stand on your hind legs and push the lid off with your nose. If you do it right, you are rewarded with food wrappers to shred, beef bones to consume, moldy crusts of bread and sometimes even an old Nike.

Bicycles
Two-wheeled exercise machines, invented for dogs to control body fat. To get maximum aerobic benefit, you must hide behind a bush and dash out, bark loudly and run alongside for a few yards. The rider swerves and falls into the bushes, and you prance away.

Thunder
A signal the world is coming to an end. Humans remain amazingly calm during thunderstorms, so it is necessary to warn them of the danger by trembling, panting, rolling your eyes wildly and following at their heels.

Wastebasket
A dog toy filled with paper, envelopes and old candy wrappers. When you get bored, turn over the basket and strew the papers all over the house. This is particularly fun to do when there are guests for dinner and you prance around with the contents of that very special bathroom wastepaper basket!

Sofas
Are to dogs like napkins are to people. After eating it is polite to run up and down the front of the sofa and wipe your whiskers clean. If there are people sitting on the couch just include them as a handy wipe.

Bath
A process owners use to clean you, drench the floor, walls and themselves. You can help by shaking vigorously and frequently.

Lean
Every good dog's response to the command "sit," especially if your owner is dressed for an evening out. Incredibly effective before black-tie events.

Love
A feeling of intense affection, given freely and without restriction, shared by you and your owner. Show it by wagging your tail.

Read more!

Dog haiku

I love my master;
Thus I perfume myself with
This long-rotten squirrel.

I lie belly-up
In the sunshine, happier than
You ever will be

Today I sniffed
Many dog butts - I celebrate
By kissing your face.

I sound the alarm!
Paperboy - come to kill us all -
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

I sound the alarm!
Mailman Fiend - come to kill us all -
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

I sound the alarm!
Meter reader - come to kill all -
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

I sound the alarm!
Garbage man - come to kill all -
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

I sound the alarm!
Neighbor's cat - come to kill all!
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

I lift my leg and
Wiz on each bush. Hello, Spot -
Sniff this and weep.

How do I love thee?
The ways are numberless as
My hairs on the rug.

My human is home!
I am so ecstatic I have
Made a puddle.

I hate my choke chain -
Look, world, they strangle me! Ack
Ack Ack Ack Ack Ack!

Sleeping here, my chin
On your foot - no greater bliss - well,
Maybe catching cats.

Look in my eyes and
Deny it. No human could
Love you as much I do.

Dig under fence - why?
Because it's there. Because it's
There. Because it's there.

I am your best friend,
Now, always, and especially
When you are eating.

You may call them fleas,
But they are far more - I call
Them a vocation.

My owners' mood is
Romantic - I lie near their
Feet. I blow a big one.

Read more!

Why dogs are better than women

1. the later you are, the more excited your dog is to see you.
2. dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs
3. dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name
4. dogs are excited by rough play
5. dogs don't mind if you give their offspring away
6. dogs understand that farts are funny
7. dogs love red meat
8. dogs can appreciate excessive body hair
9. dogs don't shop
10. if a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it
11. dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor
12. a dog's disposition stays the same all month long
13. dogs never need to examine the relationship
14. a dog's parents never visit
15. dogs love long car trips
16. dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions
17. dogs understand that all animals smaller than dogs are made to be hunted
18. dogs like beer
19. dogs don't hate their bodies
20. no dog ever bought a Kenny G or Hootie & The Blowfish album
21. no dog ever put on 100 pounds after reaching adulthood
22. dogs never criticize
23. dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across
24. dogs never expect gifts
25. it's legal to keep your dog chained up at your house
26. dogs don't worry about germs
27. dogs don't want to know about every other dog that you ever had
28. dogs like to do their snooping outside as opposed to in your wallet, desk, and the back of your sock drawer
29. dogs don't let a magazine article guide their lives
30. dogs would rather have a hamburger dinner than a lobster one
31. you never have to wait for your dog. They are ready to go 24 hours a day
32. dogs have no use for flowers, cards or jewelry
33. dogs don't borrow your shirts
34. dogs enjoy heavy petting in public
35. dogs find you amusing when you're drunk
36. dogs can't talk
37. dogs aren't catty
38. dogs don't mind at all if you leave the toilet seat up
39. dogs seldom outlive you
40. dogs don't cry
41. dogs love it when your friends come over
42. dogs don't care if you use their shampoo
43. dogs think you sing great
44. a dog's time in the bathroom is confined to a quick drink
45. dogs don't expect you to call if you are running late
46. anyone one can get a good-looking dog
47. when a dog gets old and snaps at you incessantly, you can shoot it
48. dogs don't make you watch Grease over and over again
49. dogs don't have lunch with previous owners
50. dogs never want foot rubs
    

Read more!

Why dogs are better than man

1. dogs enjoy ball games, but they don't spend six hours on the phone trying o get tickets for Germany 2006
2. spots are an attractive feature on a dog
3. a dog is better protection from intruders
4. sogs greet each other by sniffing bottoms, men are far less polite
5. puppy love doesn't wear off so quickly with a dog
6. you can be prosecuted for neglecting a dog
7. dogs can find their way back home - even after a really heavy night out
8. dogs can be trained not to lie on the bed, men always lie in bed
9. a dog can moult without becoming obsessed about premature baldness
10. dogs can be taught the meaning of the word "NO!"
11. a dog is far less irritation to have in the back seat of a car
12. and will be less likely to show its rear end to the people in the vehicle behind for a laugh
13. if a dog says sausages, that's clever - if a man says sausages, that's just greedy
14. dogs will wait patiently outside clothes shops
15. and not criticize your purchases afterwards
16. a dog will fetch the morning paper for you
17. a dog will trot faithfully round at your heel
18. dogs don't break wind in public and blame it on the man
19. in the canine world, boxers are quite intelligent
20. if a dog gets ill, it won't take eighteen Panadols in order to avoid having to go to the vet
21. you can also ask the vet to perform the snip, even if the dog objects
22. small, ginger-haired dogs can be quite appealing. As for men? Two words - Robin Cook
23. you can find a nice dog by advertising on a card in a shop window, or in the classified section of the local paper
24. a woman can live with more than one dog, without rumours starting
25. when dogs beg, it's cute. When men beg it's pathetic
26. dogs sometimes dig the garden
27. a dog can go out fox-hunting without being incredibly stuck up and pompous
28. dogs don't necessarily prefer blondes
29. dogs won't get embarrassed if you call them by a pet name when their friends are around
30. dogs travel more cheaply on the bus
31. dogs whine less
32. some dogs can be quite talented at singing
33. men lost the World Cup - a dog found it
34. dogs are less reliant on tinned food
35. but after a few cans, a dog will still be able to stand up
36. and there are some things even a dog won't eat - like the remains of a three-day-old King Prawn vindaloo that they found on the floor behind the sofa
37. you can leave a dog alone in your house without worrying so much about what it'll break
38. a dog gets a new coat every winter
39. dogs are not so careless about leaving puddles on the bathroom floor
40. a dog is less likely to leave a filthy, stinking mess for you to clear up
41. for a dog, a wet nose is a sign of GOOD health
42. men are even less useful for testing cosmetics on
43. dogs don't wolf-whistle
44. there are still thousands of totally undomesticated dogs in Australia; but far more undomesticated men
45. your dog will never refer to you as 'a bitch'
46. in disaster films, the dog is always far more likely to have a miraculous escape
47. dogs do not waste money betting on the dogs
48. you can stop dogs getting too randy by throwing a bucket or water over them
49. all the best clips on 'You've Been Framed' are the ones with dogs in
50. if a dog starts worrying sheep, that's just its natural predatory instinct
51. if a MAN starts worrying sheep, however ...
52. a 'King Charles' is much more likely to be a big, floppy-eared dog than a big floppy-eared man
53. you can also call a dog schitzu without offending it
54. "working like a dog" is strenuous, working like a man is, er - not
55. you can fondle your dog in the park without being arrested
56. a dog will encourage you to lose weight by taking more exercise. A man will just remark on how big your bum looks
57. dogs do not attack other dogs for being a different colour
58. having a dog around the place can actually ease stress
59. you'd feel guilty about turning a dog out on the street
60. a dog can take a barrel of brandy to a lost mountaineer without drinking ANY
61. there aren't so many good reasons to keep a dog muzzled in public
62. you can buy a dog's affection with a squeaky toy
63. a dog will be eager to walk, rather than getting a taxi
64. most dogs are really good with children
65. dogs have a highly-developed sense of smell, men, on the other hand, can quite happily wear the same pair of pants for a fortnight
66. a dog is more useful for tracking down criminals
67. who did YOU miss most from Blue Peter - John Noakes or Shep?
68. a dog might actually take a bath of its own accord
69. there's more chance of your dog being able to operate the video recorder
70. you can buy a choke-chain for a dog
71. a 16-year-old dog is very mature
72. a dog is easier to keep well-groomed
73. dogs have more chance of receiving an award for bravery
74. dogs are easier to house-train
75. dog do not scratch themselves so much in polite company
76. a dog can look as though it understands what you're saying
77. dogs went into space first
78. a man will roll over and play dead only if you ask him to get up and make coffee
79. dogs enjoy swimming, and not for the chance to ogle girls in bikinis
80. being a dog's mistress is no reason to feel ashamed
81. you can keep your dog tied up if it starts misbehaving
82. saggy skin and a hang-dog look aren't half as appealing on a man
83. you can train a dog in obedience
84. a dog in a studded collar isn't kinky
85. few men would answer to 'Lassie'
86. a dog is a pack animal, a man is a six-pack animal
87. dogs spend the day sniffing drugs only if they're with the police
88. dogs aren't obsessed with 'doing it man-fashion'
89. a dog is a faithful companion
90. a dog is for life
    

Read more!

Dog jokes

PUREBREED POLICE DOG

A woman saw an ad in the local newspaper which read: "Purebred Police Dog $25." Thinking that to be a great bargain, she called and ordered the dog to be delivered.
The next day a van arrived at her home and delivered the mangiest-looking mongrel she had ever seen. In a rage, she telephoned the man who had placed the ad, "How dare you call that mangy-mutt a purebreed police dog?"
"Don't let his looks deceive you, ma'am," the man replied, "He's in the Secret Service."

RELLIGIOUS PUPPIES

A woman brought a litter of Golden Retriever puppies to the veterinary clinic for inoculations and deworming. As the look alike pups squirmed over and under one another in their box, the veterinarian realized it would be difficult to tell the treated ones from the rest. The veterinarian turned on the water faucet, wet her fingers, and moistened each dog's head when she had finished.
After the fourth puppy, the veterinarian noticed the usually talkative woman had grown silent. As the veterinarian sprinkled the last pup's head, the woman leaned forward and whispered, "I didn't know they had to be baptized."



HELP WANTED

A local business was looking for office help. They put a sign in the window, stating the following: "HELP WANTED. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer and must be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer."
A short time afterwards, a dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign and went inside. He looked at the receptionist and wagged his tail, then walked over to the sign, looked at it and whined.
Getting the idea, the receptionist got the office manager. The office manager looked at the dog and was surprised, to say the least. However, the dog looked determined, so he lead him into the office. Inside, the dog jumped up on the chair and stared at the manager.
The manager said, "I can't hire you. The sign says you have to be able to type." The dog jumped down, went to the typewriter and proceeded to type out a perfect letter. He took out the page and trotted over to the manager and gave it to him, then jumped back on the chair. The manager was stunned, but then told the dog, "The sign says you have to be good with a computer."
The dog jumped down again and went to the computer. The dog proceeded to demonstrate his expertise with various programs and produced a sample spreadsheet and database and presented them to the manager. By this time the manager was totally dumb-founded! He looked at the dog and said, "I realize that you are a very intelligent dog and have some interesting abilities. However, I *still* can't give you the job."
The dog jumped down and went to a copy of the sign and put his paw on the sentences that told about being an Equal Opportunity Employer. The manager said, "Yes, but the sign *also* says that you have to be bilingual."
The dog looked at him straight in the face and said, "Meow."



DOG PROPERTY LAWS

1. If I like it, it's mine.
2. If its in my mouth, it's mine.
3. If I can take it from you, it's mine.
4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.
5. If it's mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way.
6. If I'm chewing something up, all the pieces are mine.
7. If it looks like mine, it's mine.
8. If I saw it first, it's mine.
9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.
10. If its broken, it's yours.

DOG CREATION

On the first day of creation, God created the dog.

On the second day, God created man to serve the dog.

On the third day, God created all the animals of the Earth to serve as potential food for the dog.

On the fourth day, God created honest toil so that man could labor for the good of the dog.

On the fifth day, God created the tennis ball so that the dog might or might not retrieve it.

On the sixth day, God created veterinary science to keep the dog healthy and the man broke.

On the seventh day, God tried to rest, but He had to walk the dog.



DOG LETTERS TO GOD

Dear God, Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another? Where are their priorities?

Dear God, When we get to heaven can we sit on your couch? Or is it the same old story?

Dear God, Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang,The colt, the stingray and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We dogs love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the Chrysler Eagle the Chrysler Beagle?

Dear God, If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?

Dear God, If we come back as humans, is that good, or bad?

Dear God, More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

Dear God, When we get to the Pearly Gates, do we have to shake hands to get in?

Dear God, Are there dogs on other planets or are we alone? I have been howling at the moon and stars for a long time, but all I ever hear back is the Schnauzer across the street.

Dear God, Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?

Dear God, We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?

Dear God, May I have my testicles back?



HOW TO MAKE PUPPY PIE

Take one puppy, roll and play until lightly pampered,
then add the following ingredients.....

1 cup patience....
1 cup understanding....
1 pinch correction....
1 cup hard work....
2 cups praise and 1 1/2 cups fun...

Blend well.

Heat with warmth of your heart until raised or until
puppy has doubled in size.

Mix with owner until consistency is such that owner
and puppy are one.



LIFE LESSONS LEARNED FROM A DOG

1. If you stare at someone long enough, eventually you'll get what you want.
2. Don't go out without ID.
3. Be direct with people; let them know exactly how you feel by pissing on their shoes.
4. Be aware of when to hold your tongue, and when to use it.
5. Leave room in your schedule for a good nap.
6. Always give people a friendly greeting. A cold nose in the crotch is most effective.
7. When you do something wrong, always take responsibility (as soon as you're dragged shamefully out from under the bed).
8. If it's not wet and sloppy, it's not a real kiss.

Read more!

About puppy's

• Dalmatian puppies are usually pure white when born.

• More than five million puppies are born every year in the United States.

Read more!

• A female carries her young about 60 days before the puppies are born.
• At birth puppies are deaf, blind, and have almost no sense of smell. They stay near their mother and siblings because of the warmth.
  
• A puppy's eyes do not open until it is 10 to 15 days old. Its vision is usually not complete until it is about four weeks old.
• Puppies should remain with their mother until they are at least eight weeks old. During this time, she will teach them not to bite, and how to get along with other dogs.
• Puppy love is the beginning of a lifetime affair for most dog owners.
• NEVER punish a puppy for chewing..... just be sure to provide the appropriate objects. Puppies need to chew to stimulate the loss of their baby teeth and to help place their permanent teeth.
• Train your dog from day one, so she will think of you as the leader of the pack. Dogs instinctively want to earn the pack leader's approval.
• The most confident puppy in a litter often makes the worst pet because he sees himself as the pack leader.
• To a young, exercise and play are the day's most important events. As a dog gets older, he lives for dinner time.
• Give your new puppy its own sleeping den, even a simple cardboard box will do; this will make her feel more secure.
• Ignore your new puppy's whining when you first isolate it for sleeping. If you don't you will only encourage it to whine more.
• The most important thing you can teach your dog is to sit and stay on command. Any time you are having behavioral problems with your dog, begin your training by reteaching him to sit and stay.
• When a small dog is aggressive toward people, don't pick him up. This only reinforces the behavior since he will see it as a reward.
• Although a dog might be jealous of a new puppy in the beginning this usually passes quickly since dogs are social animals.
• Housebreaking a puppy is just like toilet training a child; first you learn to recognize the signs, then you react every time you see them.
• Dogs that are not around people before they reach the age of three months seldom turn out to be good pets.
• When a puppy is removed from its mother, don't make it spend the first night alone. Its loss of family is enough for one night.
• As soon as your new pet is comfortable with its new home, move it to the location where you will want it to sleep for its lifetime.
• The time to start teaching your dog to sit and stay is the day you bring her home.
• Don't attempt to teach your dog anything else until he will sit and stay on command for at least one minute.
• When teaching a puppy to come, begin by getting down to his level so he will not be encouraged to jump up on you.
• Puppies can't control their bladders overnight until they are at least four months old. Until then, cover the floor around the puppy's bed with newspapers.
• Always say your dog's names before you give a command.
• Dogs are not born knowing the words "Sit", "Down", "Stand".
  

About dogs - part 3

• A US Customs Labrador named "Snag" has made 118 drug seizures worth a canine record $810 million. The greatest number of drug seizures by dogs is 969 in 1988. IN ONE YEAR! The team of "Rocky" and "Barco" patrolled the Texas and Mexico border, alias "Cocaine Alley." They were so good that Mexican drug lords put a price of $30,000 dollars on their heads.
  

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• All dogs, from the German Shepherd to the tiny Poodle, are direct descendants of wolves. They can all breed together and produce fertile offspring. Technically they are of the same species.
• Dogs can very easily regurgitate. In fact, after eating wolves can travel significant distances back to their dens and regurgitate the food at will to feed their pups!
• Canis Major or The Great Dog:- The great dog follows his master, Orion, as he makes his annual journey through the sky. Sirius, also known as the Dog Star, is located on the shoulder of Canis Major. It is the brightest in the heavens, and its name means sparkling and scorching, as it is nearest to the sun during the height of summer.

• Argos or Argus, Ulysses' hunting dog, was the only creature to recognize the Greek hero when he returned home disguised as a beggar after 20 years of adventure.
• Cerberus, the three-headed dog of Greek mythology, guarded the gates to the underworld.

• Laika became the world's first space traveler. Russian scientists sent the small animal aloft in an artificial earth satellite in 1957.

• The basenji, an African wolf dog, is the only dog that cannot bark. A hound breed, the basenji is not entirely mute and is characterized by its wrinkled forehead and tightly curled tail.

• Dogs (and wolves and foxes) are descended from a small, weasel-like mammal called Miacis which was a tree-dwelling creature and existed about 40 million years ago. Dogs, as we know them today, first appeared in Eurasia about 13,000 years ago, and were probably a direct descendant of a small, grey wolf . The dingo is not native to Australia but was introduced thousands of years ago by the first immigrants. Dogs were first domesticated by cavemen in the Palaeolithic age and gradually developed (or were bred) into the breeds known today.
• Many foot disorders in dogs are related to long toenails. Check your dog's nails once a month and trim when necessary, avoiding the vein.
• Sadly, statistics indicate that eight million pets lose their lives in animal shelters each year due to overpopulation.
• In America, about one family in three owns a dog.
• The average dog lives 8 to 15 years.
• People have been keeping dogs as pets for the past 12,000 years.
• Put your kitchen garbage can in a cupboard. It's the only way to be certain your dog will stay out of it.
• To keep your dog off the couch, nail empty tuna cans to a board and put it there before leaving. Your dog will find it uncomfortable, and it's easy to store under the couch.
• Even after your dog is old enough to be fed only once a day, he should be given a morning snack just to calm his rumbling tummy.
• There's no such thing as a dumb dog; after all, while we're out working all day, they're home sleeping.
• A dog needs to work off excess energy every day.
• Mixed-breed dogs usually have behavioral traits similar to the breed they most resemble in appearance.
• Dogs that chase cars have learned that cars run away. This behavior is reinforced each time he chases one away.
• Never wake a sleeping dog by poking or shaking it.
• If you're finding it difficult to teach your dog to catch a ball, try tossing something soft like a knotted piece of fabric instead. Some dogs find softer items easier to catch.
• Anyone who says he works like a dog obviously doesn't own one.
• Dogs and cats turn in circles before lying down because in the wild this instinctive action turns long grass into a bed.
• People with more than one dog shouldn't try to trat them all as equals. Because pack position is important to a dog, this only encourages jealousy games.
• You don't have to put up with your dog destroying flower beds or digging up the yard; simply fence off a separate section just for him.
• A one-year-old dog is physically as mature as a 15 year-old human.
• Dogs' internal clocks are really magnificent. They know when it's time for you to arrive home, feed them, or go to bed if you are normally on a schedule.
• Brush your dog 3 times a week in the spring, and you'll have a summer free from shedding.
• If someone in your household is allergic to dogs, bathe your dog every week. He will shed less dry skin. You can also add a teaspoon of cooking oil to your dog's dinner.
• When a dog bays at the moon, it is following a basic urge to call the pack together.
• Rituals are a basic part of canine behavior. Greeting, feeding, hunting and sleeping all include social performances.
• The burying of bones is part of a dog's instinctive feeding ritual; shaking things viciously is part of the hunting ritual.
  

About dogs - part 2

• Surveys show that 62 percent of dog owners admit their dog owns a jumper, wintercoat or raincoat.

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• A dog's heart beats between 70 and 120 times a minute, compared with a human heart which beats 70 to 80 times a minute.
• Chocolate kills dogs! Chocolate affects a dog's heart and nervous system; a few ounces are enough to kill a small dog.
• Some authorities estimate that some dogs sense of olfaction (smelling) is as high as 1 million times greater than ours.
• Dogs naturally have a wonderful sense of smell. They have many more sensory 'smelling' cells than a man's 5,000,000. A Dachshund has 125,000,000, a Fox Terrier 147,000,000 and an Alsation (often used as a 'sniffer' dog) has 220,000,000. Truffle hounds can find the fungus delicacy even when it's a foot underground.
• A dog's nose is not just used for smelling, but also to keep him cool. That's why a dog pants. The longer the dog's nose, the better his cooling system works.
• A Bloodhound can identify several smells simultaneously.
• A dog can hear sounds 250 yards away that most people cannot hear beyond 25 yards. The human ear can detect sound waves vibrating at frequencies up to 20,000 times a second. But dogs can hear sound waves that vibrate at frequencies of more than 30,000 times a second.
• The normal body temperature for a dog is 101.2 degrees Fahrenheit.
• Dogs are able to see much better in dim light than humans are. This is due to the tapetum lucidum, a light-reflecting layer behind the retina. Because it functions like a mirror, it also accounts for the strange shine or glow in a dog's eyes at night.
• Dogs have twice as many muscles for moving their ears as people.
• A dog's smile runs from the depth of his eyes to the tip of his tail.
• Dogs can see colour but it is not as vivid as the colour humans see. Dog colour is similar to what we see at twilight.
• Dogs cannot see as well as humans and are considered color blind. A dog sees objects first by their movement, second by their brightness, and third by their shape.
• Dogs are pack animals by nature. They need closeness, touching, and petting to be content and happy.
• A dog is a true friend, and one you can be certain will never talk about you, no matter what you do.
• A dog can suffer from a poor self-image, just like humans. Bolster self-esteem with praise, affection and rewards.
• Family dogs who growl when family members are roughhousing aren't upset, they're just asking to become part of the game.
• Dogs become loyal not because you feed them, but because of the companionship you give them.
• Most dogs don't like to be left alone so they howl. Leave the radio or television on to keep your dog company when you are away.
• Man could learn much from his dog: to be a true friend, to be faithful, and to appreciate those who love him.
• Dogs are perfect companions. They never quarrel, fuss or fight with you, and they listen with great interest any time you speak in their direction.
• It could be that dog is man's best friend because a dog can't understand what man is saying.
• Dogs chew up your underwear because it smells like you.
• The only problem with loving a dog is that they live for only a short time.
• If your dog reacts anti-socially toward visitors, put her in another room until she calms down. When you let her out, ignore her. This forces your dog to go to the visitors for social activity.
• A survey revealed that at least 63 per cent of dog owners admitted to kissing their dogs. Of these, 45 per cent kissed them on the nose, 19 per cent on the neck, 7 per cent on the back, 5 per cent on the stomach and 2 per cent on the legs.
• Dogs and men are the only animals with prostate glands.
• All dogs, from the German Shepherd to the tiny Poodle, are technically of the same species and can breed together and produce fertile offspring.
• The most intelligent dogs are said to be Border Collies, Poodles and Golden Retrievers.